194. Beyond the Performative - The Price of Nice with Amira Barger

In this episode of Volunteer Nation Podcast, Tobi Johnson welcomes back Amira Barger, award-winning communications executive, educator, and author of The Price of Nice: Why Comfort Keeps Us Stuck and Four Actions for Real Change. 

Together, they explore how “niceness” often operates as a form of social control, especially in workplaces, nonprofits, and volunteer-driven organizations, and why prioritizing comfort can come at a steep cost to individuals, teams, and missions. This conversation challenges leaders to rethink performative politeness and replace it with courage, clarity, and values-aligned action. 

If you’ve ever held back from speaking up to avoid rocking the boat, this episode will resonate deeply.

Full show notes: 194. Beyond the Performative - The Price of Nice with Amira Barger 

Performative - Episode Highlights 

• [00:29] - Welcoming Amira Barger and Her New Book 
• [01:24] - Amira's Background and Journey 
• [03:09] - The Importance of Volunteer Engagement 
• [04:44] - Transition to Communications 
• [07:44] - The Concept of Niceness and Its Impact 
• [10:11] - Personal Stories and Reflections on Niceness 
• [13:44] - Niceness in the Workplace 
• [17:19] - Challenging the Culture of Niceness 
• [28:07] - Strategies for Effective Communication 
• [33:41] - The Power Dynamics in Organizations 
• [34:40] - Understanding Inclusivity and Privilege 
• [35:17] - The Butterfly Metaphor and Emotional Labor 
• [38:00] - Framework for Courageous Conversations 
• [38:30] - Volunteer Program Development 
• [40:24] - The Price of Performative Niceness 
• [41:46] - Four-Step Model for Change Management 
• [47:34] - Building Capacity for Discomfort 
• [57:39] - Accountability Without Shame 

Helpful Links 

• VolunteerPro Impact Lab
• 2025 Volunteer Management Progress Report – The Recruitment Edition
• Volunteer Nation Podcast Episode #125: Diversity & Women in the Workplace: Claim Your Space with Amira Barger
• Volunteer Nation Podcast Episode #84: Building an Inclusive Culture at Your Volunteer Organization with Advita Patel 
• Volunteer Nation Podcast Episode #160: Leadership Principles for Sparking Change – Part 1 with Jenni Field
• Volunteer Nation Podcast Episode #161: Leadership Principles for Sparking Change – Part 2 with Jenni Field 
• Amira’s Website 

Thanks for listening to this episode of the Volunteer Nation podcast. If you enjoyed it, please be sure to subscribe, rate, and review so we can reach more people like you who want to improve the impact of their good cause.

For more tips and notes from the show, check us out at TobiJohnson.com. For any comments or questions, email us at [email protected].