208: Ryan Girdler: The Conduit – Masculinity, Breathwork & Redefining the Modern Man

In this deeply human episode of The Penis Project podcast, Melissa sits down with former NRL legend and now men's mentor Ryan Girdler, whose life after professional football has taken an unexpected and transformative turn. 

Ryan talks candidly about growing up in a blue-collar household in the 70s, the pressures of masculinity, and how being driven hard as a child shaped his identity. He reflects on his footy career, the unspoken expectations to “be tough,” and how those patterns carried over into life after retirement—leading him to overwork, burnout, and eventually, a total personal reset. 

Through meditation, breathwork, and support from his wife, Ryan found a new path. Today, he mentors men through profound emotional, physical, and spiritual work, helping them reconnect with themselves, develop healthier expressions of masculinity, and live with more balance, softness, and purpose. 

This conversation goes far beyond sport. Ryan opens up about parenting, vulnerability, inner dialogue, relationships, and why so many men feel lost in today’s world. He also explores his work with Reconnected Men, breathwork retreats, and his partnership with the enigmatic healer, Imrah, known to many as “the alchemist.” 

This Episode, We Cover: 

Ryan’s early life & sporting beginnings 

• Growing up under pressure in a hardworking family and feeling driven to please others 

• How internal and external expectations pushed him into rugby league 

• The emotional impact of a “boys don’t cry” upbringing 

Masculinity, identity & the struggles men face today 

• Why modern masculinity feels confusing—and why “toxic masculinity” breaks Ryan’s heart 

• The lack of healthy male role models 

• Balancing discipline with vulnerability 

• Why many men feel they must fix everything rather than be present 

Life after professional sport 

• Losing identity and purpose at 30 

• Overworking to fill a void—“trying to beat yoga at yoga” 

• How breathwork and meditation became lifesaving tools 

• The profound influence of his wife in redirecting his path 

Breathwork, nervous system regulation & healing 

• Ryan’s introduction to meditation through a big wave surfer 

• Using pranayama as the “cheat code” to stillness 

• How breathwork helped him “wield the mind” rather than be controlled by it 

• Why he believes every man should experience nervous-system regulation 

Reconnected Men & the work he does now 

• One-day and three-day men’s retreats in Queensland and Sydney 

• Holotropic/transformational breathwork sessions 

• Corporate breathwork and team integration sessions 

• His mentoring program combining discipline, stillness, personal story, and emotional growth 

The story of Imrah – “the alchemist” 

• How Ryan reconnected with Imrah after 25 years 

• Imrah’s unusual upbringing in the Pilbara and his unique abilities 

• Their partnership in retreats and breathwork events 

• Why I have named Ryan “the conduit”

Parenting, relationships & emotional presence 

• Raising daughters with boundaries, connection, and regulated technology use 

• Letting go of control in relationships 

• How softness, listening, and heart-led responses change family dynamics 

Ryan’s message to men 

"You don’t always have to be in control. And you don't have to do it on your own." 

Key Takeaways: 

• Masculinity isn’t the problem—disconnection is. 

• Men thrive when they learn discipline and vulnerability. 

• Breathwork, meditation, and nervous system tools can fundam