In our last conversation with Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett
[Where emotions come from (and why it matters) Part 1] a couple of weeks ago we looked at her theory of where emotions originate. This has important implications for things like:
- How our 'body budgets' affect our feelings
- How we make meaning from our feelings so our internal experience makes sense
- That we don't always understand other people's feelings very well!
The introduction to the theory plus the conversation plus the take-home messages would have made for an unwieldy episode, so I split it in half. Today we conclude the conversation with Dr. Barrett and I also offer some thoughts about things I think are really important from across the two episodes, including:
- What we can do with the information our feelings give us
- How long we should support children in feeling their feelings (given that they don't always mean what we think they mean!) and when we should help them move on
- Some tools we can use to re-regulate in difficult moments with our kids
Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett's Books (Affiliate Links)
How Emotions are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain Seven and a Half Lessons About the Brain Other episodes mentioned
129: The physical reasons you yell at your kids
Jump to Highlights
00:59 Introducing today’s episode and featured guests 05:01 People in chaotic or uncertain situations, like poverty or neurodivergence, face greater challenges due to the increased stress on their body budgets. 18:02 Understanding and managing personal needs as a parent, along with emotional flexibility, can lead to more effective responses to children. 23:46 Parents need to balance their own feelings with their children's by asking if their kids want empathy or help. They should remember that every interaction is a chance to teach kids how to manage their emotions. 31:07 Parents can view their empathy for their children as a sign of competence, balancing their own needs with their child's emotions. 34:22 Jen draws conclusions from Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett’s research on emotions, highlighting how parents can use this understanding to empower their children in navigating feelings and enhancing emotional literacy.
References
Barrett, L. F., Adolphs, R., Marsella, S., Martinez, A. M., & Pollak, S. D. (2019). Emotional expressions reconsidered: Challenges to inferring emotion from human facial movements.
Psychological Science in the Public Interest, 20, 1–68. Barrett, L.F. (2012). Emotions are real. Emotion 12(3), 413-429.
