Hello Goodbye

No matter how unique your marriage or your domestic partner relationship may be, there are two moments that are common to all of us: The moment we meet somebody special. And the moment we say goodbye to them.

The former is typically happy. The latter is typically sad.

Although those moments often feel like they take us by surprise, they don’t necessarily have to be unpredictable, random, or chaotic. Both of my lunch guests today have businesses that try and impose order and predictability on the process of – respectively – meeting someone, and losing someone.

Hannah Wilson is the Founder of NOLA Speed Dating. She launched it in 2024 as a sort of structured compromise between her disappointment with dating apps on the one hand, and her equal disappointment with random meetings at bars and clubs on the other.

NOLA Speed Dating has a range of age-specific events for “Men Seeking Men,” “Women Seeking Women” and “Hetero,” at different locations around town. There are a limited number of slots; you have to register online; events generally sell out; and there’s more than romantic matches going on – these get-togethers also create friendships and community.

If you are lucky enough to meet somebody in this lifetime and things work out - instead of a break-up or divorce, your relationship is going to end when one of you dies.

I know - just when you were starting to enjoy this conversation, suddenly, “clunk.” I had to go mention “death.” It’s not just you. Death is the one subject almost nobody wants to talk about. And yet it is the only thing that is going to happen to all of us.

When you die, your world doesn’t die with you. You live on – in the effect your life has had on other people.

And then there’s your stuff. Even if you travel light through this life – and because you live in the US you probably don’t – you have possessions that mean something to you. They may not necessarily be especially financially valuable, but they’re emotionally valuable. What happens to those special items after you’re gone?

Well, there’s an app for that. Amanda Fetter is one of its Co-Founders. The app is called Meli.

Meli allows users to upload photos of sentimental belongings, attach notes and voice recordings, and leave specific special items to specific special people.

Back in 1789 when Ben Franklin was weighing in on drafting the US Constitution, he said the only two things that are certain in life are death and taxes.

Ben might be surprised to discover that today there are long lists of people, institutions and businesses who pay little or no taxes.

But there’s still no escaping death.

Nor is there any escape from the human desire to love and be loved.

The one thing we do know about both of these conditions is – as much as we wish they would - they don’t take care of themselves. Unless you’re very lucky, you’re not going to find your perfect life partner standing next to you in line at Rouse’s. And at the end of your life, your loved ones aren’t going to be able to read your mind and know what you’d like to happen to your most precious belongings.

But you can be proactive about finding love  – like going to NOLA Speed Dating. And you can be proactive about keeping the peace among your loved ones after you’re gone by using the Meli App.

Out to Lunch was recorded live over lunch at Columns in Uptown New Orleans. You can find photos from this show by Jill Lafleur at itsneworleans.com.

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