MFP 406: What Kids Learn When Parents Play

"Lack of experience with rough-and-tumble play hampers the normal give-and-take necessary for social mastery" - Dr. Stuart Brown

 

Summary

The kids are squealing, Dad is on the floor, and the living room has become a wrestling ring. Is this just chaos, or could something valuable be happening? In this episode, we explore how roughhousing can offer children opportunities to practice resilience, manage big feelings, read social cues, and discover that real strength includes gentleness. We share memories, practical ideas, and encouragement for finding playful connections that fit your family. Brain research shows the great effect that physical play has on the brains of children, especially when it's with dad. Join us as we talk about how following this instinct can turn into a powerful tool for not only managing children, but raising adults who are attuned to others, compassionate, and kind. 

Key Points

 

Six advantages of play:

1. The ability to bounce back from failures and adapt to unpredictable situations

2. Helps develop your children's grit and manage pain and discomfort.

3. Learn to manage emotion and aggression

4. Increase social and emotional IQ

5. They learn appropriate use of strength.

6. They connect deeply with their parents - especially dad

Couple Discussion Questions

1. How have our childhood experiences shaped our comfort with physical play, and what would help us understand each other's perspective?

2. What could playful connection look like in our family this week, with boundaries that feel comfortable for everyone?

 

Resources

• Based on Brett and Kate McKay's "The Importance of Roughhousing With Your Kids". 

• Playtime with Dad may improve children's self-control

• https://www.cam.ac.uk/research/news/playtime-with-dad-may-improve-childrens-self-control

• Lead Like a Dad: https://messyfamilyproject.org/course/lead-like-a-dad/

• Give to MFP! www.messyfamilyproject.org/give