434 Becoming Spiritually Intelligent with Dr. Paul Burns

In this episode, Brian Miller, Executive Director of Coach Approach Ministries, sits down with Paul Burns, author of the new book Spiritual Intelligence: Becoming Spiritually Intelligent – Nine Paths Toward Your Most Loving Self. Together, they explore the intersection of spiritual intelligence, emotional health, and attachment theory, diving into what it means to develop a Christ-centered approach to becoming one’s most loving self. Paul shares personal experiences, insights from his coaching practice, and practical guidance on how we can cultivate a secure attachment to God, which fosters both spiritual and emotional growth.

Key Topics Discussed:

1. Spiritual Intelligence – A Christ-Centered Approach: - Paul introduces spiritual intelligence as the integration of emotional intelligence and attachment to God. - He explains how this approach goes beyond emotional intelligence, focusing on developing a loving, Christ-centered presence in every interaction. - By addressing the instinctual needs for self-defense or attack, spiritual intelligence helps individuals become more grounded and loving.

2. Attachment Theory and Relationship with God: - Paul delves into attachment theory, explaining how it helps us understand our relationships with others and God. - He highlights the significance of having a secure attachment to God, which builds confidence and resilience in spiritual growth. - Brian shares his personal experience of overcoming insecurity by fostering a deeper attachment to God, thanks to the guidance and practices from Paul's book.

3. Non-Anxious Presence (Self-Differentiation): - Paul unpacks the concept of self-differentiation, or maintaining emotional boundaries while staying empathetic and engaged. - This is crucial for leaders, as it helps them stay calm and grounded while guiding others, without getting overwhelmed by others' emotions. - Paul shares practical strategies for lowering anxiety, which fosters deeper empathy and a healthier presence in relationships and leadership roles.

4. Empathy, Busyness, and Leadership: - Paul emphasizes the importance of empathy in leadership and relationships, noting that busyness is often the greatest enemy of empathy. - He explains how being in a hurry can disconnect us from others and blind us to their needs, while slowing down makes us more present and compassionate. - Being interruptible, as Jesus often was, is key to fostering a loving and empathetic presence in everyday interactions.

5. Practical Applications for Leaders, Pastors, and Coaches: - Paul shares personal stories from his journey as a father, spouse, and leader, emphasizing the transformative power of spiritual intelligence. - The episode offers insights for