Known Donor, Reciprocal IVF & Three Kids Later | Vanessa & Jory

Vanessa and Jory of @modernfamilynextdoor join the Pride Extravaganza to share their journey from closeted college classmates to raising three children together. They open up about religious shame, coming out to family, known donor conception, reciprocal IVF, difficult pregnancies, and the emotional realities of non-bio parenting in queer families. This conversation is funny, vulnerable, and deeply relatable for anyone navigating LGBTQ family building.

🏳️‍🌈 Key Takeaways

• Vanessa and Jory share how growing up religious shaped their experiences with internalized homophobia and delayed coming out.
• The couple discusses falling in love after meeting in college — despite both initially trying to avoid their attraction to women.
• They open up about coming out to family members, navigating acceptance, and the emotional impact of feeling like they might lose family relationships.
• Vanessa and Jory explain how they built their family through known donor conception and later expanded their family through reciprocal IVF.
• The conversation explores the unique emotional realities of non-bio parenting in queer families, including fears around bonding and identity.
• Vanessa shares the painful assumptions strangers made about her relationship to her son because she is Mexican and her son is white with red hair.
• They discuss how little information and representation existed for LGBTQ+ families when they first started trying to conceive in 2015.
• The episode highlights the intentionality, resilience, and complexity that often comes with queer family building.

🏳️‍🌈 About the guest(s)

Vanessa and Jory are the creators behind @modernfamilynextdoor where they share the realities of raising a queer family online with honesty, humor, and heart. Through their content, Vanessa and Jory have become a source of visibility and representation for other LGBTQ+ families navigating similar journeys.

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California Cryobank Use code QUEERFAM26 for a free level 3 subscription to their donor catalogue!

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