Toldos - Are You Raising Your Children or Managing Your Anxiety?

Why do the people we love sometimes resist our attempts to help them? What's the difference between genuinely influencing someone and simply trying to control their behavior? And how often is our need for control really a reflection of our own anxiety?

When Yaakov enters Yitzchak's room dressed as Eisav, Yitzchak declares, "Hakol kol Yaakov, v'hayadayim yedei Eisav." Rashi explains that Yitzchak recognized Yaakov not by the sound of his voice, but by the way he spoke. What does something as small as saying "please" reveal about the way we relate to other people?

In this shiur, delivered in Sharfmans, Rav Burg explores the deeper meaning of Yaakov's voice and Eisav's hands through the teachings of Rashi and the Medrash. What emerges is a powerful understanding of the difference between control and influence, why our fear can lead us to pressure the people we love, and how genuine bitachon allows us to guide our children, our spouses, and our talmidim without trying to take away their freedom to choose.

For amazing shiurim from Rav Burg, check out Nitzotzos.com.