4:8 ​Being Present with Disappointment: an IFS Perspective

In this episode, Susan explores what happens when our children are disappointed, upset, or frustrated — and why our instinct to fix, minimize, or rescue them from that feeling often does more harm than good. Using the example of a child upset about a not getting to wear a favorite shirt, she demonstrates what it sounds like to sit with a child's disappointment instead of steering them out of it, and why that "big fat period" of silence can be more powerful than any explanation.

• Why rushing to fix or minimize a child's disappointment can quietly signal, "I don't believe you can handle this."
• Why kids are built to survive disappointment — and how repeated small setbacks build real resilience.
• Why sitting with discomfort, rather than fixing it, is itself a powerful form of connection

Full transcript here