542: “You’re Not Wearing THAT!” How to Talk About Modesty

Talking to our kids about modesty can feel awkward, but it's a conversation worth having! Erin Mashaw, BOAW COO and author of Awkward Conversations, joins Emily to talk about shifting the conversation away from rules about what girls can and can't wear and toward something bigger: respect for ourselves, others, and God. If you've ever struggled with the "You're not wearing THAT!" conversation, this episode will give you practical language to help your kids think about modesty in a whole new way.

Episode Recap:

• It’s an awkward conversation worth having (4:22)
• Let’s shift the conversation toward respect (6:33)
• You are only responsible for you (9:00)
• Confidence doesn’t mean showing more skin (13:19)
• How do I handle the, “You’re not wearing that!” conversation? (17:13)
• We want to give them tools to use when we aren’t around in the future (22:19)

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 10:23 (NIV) — “Everything is permissible,” but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible,” but not everything builds up.”

Discussion Questions:

1. How have you talked about modesty with your kids? Have you focused more on rules about clothing or the heart behind their choices?
2. Erin talked about modesty as a matter of respect for ourselves, others, and God. How could that change the conversation in your home?
3. When your child wants to wear something you don't approve of, how do you respond? Are you teaching them to think for themselves or just enforcing a rule?
4. Are you putting more responsibility on your daughters than your sons when it comes to modesty? What might need to change?

Resources:

• Pre-order Erin’s new book Awkward Conversations today! 
• Reach out to have Karen or Erin come speak in your community.

Want More of This Conversation?In Wire Talk+, Erin walks through real-life scenarios and gives moms practical scripts for navigating tricky conversations about bodies, clothing, and modesty. If you've ever struggled to find the right words in the moment, you won't want to miss this extra conversation.

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