Let’s Leave It There

We leave things in many places for a variety of reasons. The questions we explored in our Kota this week were: what is being left, where is it, who is leaving it, and why? These ideas can help shed light on how we might build favourable conditions for the world we want to live in. It started when I saw an ironing board on the pavement outside a house. “Who left that there?” I wondered to myself as I continued my walk to the shop. I imagined the conversation that led to this moment. “Let’s leave it there; the scrap metal collectors will take it”. Those words kept bouncing around my head. It was a classic Kota prompt with many potential ways to explore it. So we opened up the hive mind, and it was fun to see what emerged. Things get left in all kinds of strange places… They sent a photoYour parcel was deliveredThat is not my door A haiku about the keyboard I ordered: it was delivered. But where? “I’ll leave it there; I’m sure it will find its way to the correct destination eventually”, I imagined the driver reasoning to themselves. Why do people leave things where they do? Laziness, boredom, fear, forgetfulness, moving on, letting go, baiting, passing on, shame, paying forward, and handing over. A Change of Mind What prompts someone to leave their swede in the supermarket freezer? Were their hands too full, and something else came along? Did they suddenly decide they could live without it after all? Social Situations We say those words when we reach the end of a conversation, a relationship, and a meeting. It might come at the right time, an anchoring point when things make sense and feel clear. Or it might be crowbarred into the situation before we feel ready to finish. Do we decide together to leave it there, or does one person have the power in the conversation? Is it a response to the signs of escalation, where if we don’t leave it there and walk away, it will become personal, and things will occur that we will later regret? We see these tipping points on social media. Some people can’t help themselves. Have we reached an impasse? Maybe it’s time to walk away for now. Or is this a more definitive door to close behind us? Did we give up on it? Maybe we regret how we left it, wishing we had done things differently. Habit Formulation When we want a new habit to stick, we can choose to leave whatever will simplify the desired outcome. For example, we could take the guitar out of its case, leave the journal on the bedside table, and fill the bowl with tasty-looking fruit (and put it where we will see it). By leaving the right things in helpful places, we can create the conditions for change so that we are not relying on willpower to do the work. Leave it There So You Remember Where It Is Sometimes, leaving it in the right place can be a great reminder. On other occasions, we might leave it in an obscure place that doesn't occur to us to look. Even if the idea makes perfect sense in the context and at the time of its conception, as the situation falls from view, so too might our ability to remember. Making Peace With Leaving It There How do you know when to say “enough is enough” and let go of the project, preparation, or product? What tells you it’s okay to leave it there? A decision made from an anchored emotional state. Trust your judgement and know that it’s good enough, even if you come back later (in a state of tiredness, panic, and worry) and say, “I need to tinker a bit more.” When the inner critic arrives, we need ways to say, “Let’s leave it there for now; I’m not going to make any decisions until tomorrow.” "Apology Accepted" (J. Raymond) I owe myself an apology.For all the times I promised to forgive myself,only to bring it up again later.For clipping the wings of my own dreams beforethey even had a chance to take flight. Forthinking so little of myselfat the very moments I should have beenstanding up for myself.