Most Couples Fix Their Marriage Backwards

Most of us don't have a plan for our marriage. We have a repair schedule.

Something breaks, we patch it, things are fine for a while, and then we sit there quietly waiting for it to break again. Lance Salazar lived in that loop.

He describes a defeatist stretch where even when things were okay, he was just wondering when it was going to go bad.

So he and his wife stopped fixing and started designing, borrowing the thing they already knew how to do in business: decide what you want, build a plan, commit to it, track it.

What came out of that is a framework they call the four legendary relationship elements. You. The partnership. The friendship. The lovers. And Lance is insistent about the order, because a great partnership needs a great partner first, and it is very hard to feel like friends with someone you are arguing with about the garbage.

 

IN THIS EPISODE

• The cycle of patch, coast, break, repeat, and why it ends in mediocrity
• Designing a marriage instead of repairing it
• Applying goals, milestones, and actions to a marriage the way you would to a company
• Why you can't run a marathon you never trained for
• The four legendary relationship elements, and why the order is the point
• The partnership loop: finances, kids, the trash, and why couples get trapped there after kids
• Tracking it: ten minutes of talking a day, a planner, an actual checkbox
• "If you haven't been kissing your wife every day, then you need a reminder"
• Why it sounds unromantic and why he does it anyway
• How friendship becomes the foundation for intimacy

 

FULL EPISODE

Legendary Couples with Kids: https://frontrowdads.com/39