17 Apr 2025 06:00
Ten Things NOT to Do In Your Faith Deconstruction - Britt Hartley | Ep. 2011
In this episode, we explore 10 common pitfalls people face during religious deconstruction. From navigating relationships and parenting outside of organized religion to the challenges of psychedelics, intellectualism, and identity loss—this is a raw, honest conversation about life after faith. Whether you're just beginning your journey or deep in it, this discussion offers insight, validation, and guidance.
Key topics covered:
Why opening your marriage right after leaving religion may backfire
How to provide structure for your kids without religion
The psychedelic trap & chasing spiritual highs
The “missionary phase” of ex-belief systems
Finding meaning beyond religion, without clinging to new dogmas
The lifelong process of deconstruction
And much more, including Gen Z dating, chakras, free will, and dreams
Don’t miss her reflections on what she’s learned, what to avoid, and how to move forward with integrity and openness.
00:00:00 Introduction
00:04:44 These are things she's learned to be aware of as you are in the mess of religious deconstruction; it’s not a same thing
00:08:04 The first thing you should avoid: Opening your marriage soon after leaving your faith
00:16:32 Second: Providing order and structure for kids
00:22:37 Do kids need religion for structure and order?
00:34:15 Third: Psychedelic chasing
00:39:45 Four: Clinging to new beliefs
00:45:32 Reality is more magical than how we view reality
00:50:28 Five: Avoid the Missionary Phase. Sam Harris says: “No one is more ardent in their atheism than exMormons”
00:57:01 Six: Not recognizing the good in religion
01:04:57 Seven: Underestimating the hard work it is to replace religion
01:12:32 Eight: Underestimating that deconstruction is a lifelong process
01:18:11 Do we have free will?
01:28:32 Nine: Avoid finding new prophets
01:35:45 Ten: Overemphasis on intellectualism
01:42:53 Final thoughts
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