What If Thinking About Death Could Make Us Feel More Alive?

Explore how thinking about death can teach us to live more fully, find meaning, and appreciate the people we love.

Summary: We often avoid thinking about death, but research suggests that facing our mortality can help us live more fully and focus on what matters most. On this episode of The Science of Happiness, death doula Andrea Sexton-Dumas shares how her experiences with loss have shaped her understanding of grief, connection, and finding hope in unexpected places. Then, psychologist Philip Cozzolino explains how reflecting on our limited time can help us live more authentically, strengthen our relationships, and find greater meaning in everyday life.

How To Do This Practice: 

1. Take a few deep breaths: Find a comfortable position, gently lower your gaze or close your eyes, and breathe slowly as you settle into the present moment.
2. Imagine a plant friend: Picture a plant in your mind, noticing its leaves, flowers, scent, and texture. Ask whether it is willing to share in your heartache today.
3. Connect with the earth: Imagine holding a handful of soil. Notice its color, texture, and moisture, and observe any feelings that arise without judgment.
4. Share your grief: Imagine digging a small hole in the soil and sharing who or what you're grieving. Speak aloud or silently, expressing whatever you need to have witnessed.
5. Let the earth hold your grief: Imagine the soil receiving your heartache with care. When you're ready, gently refill the hole, smooth the earth, and sprinkle fresh water over the spot as an act of nurturing.
6. Express gratitude and return to the present: Take a deep breath and offer a quiet thank-you to the plant and earth for holding your grief. When you're ready, gently open your eyes.

Scroll down for a transcription of this episode.

Today’s Guests:

ANDREA SEXTON-DUMAS is a death and grief doula based in Oakland, California.

https://www.andreasextondumas.com/

DR. PHILIP COZZOLINO is a psychologist and associate professor at University of Virginia School of Medicine.

https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Philip-Cozzolino

Related Science of Happiness episodes:

How Rituals Keep Us Connected: https://tinyurl.com/4unkssnd

Who’s Always There For You: https://tinyurl.com/2p9p934w

How Thinking About Your Ancestors Can Help You Thrive: https://tinyurl.com/3wzx44ux

Related Happiness Breaks:

A Meditation on Love and Interconnectedness: https://tinyurl.com/3jsjvxtv

A Guided Meditation on Embodied Love: https://tinyurl.com/5brfa93x

A Meditation to Connect With Your Roots: https://tinyurl.com/bd6cmeym

Tell us about your experience with this practice. Email us at [email protected] or follow on Instagram @HappinessPod.

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Transcription: https://tinyurl.com/36cxaa8u