244: The Art of Listening with Christine Miles

In this episode of Better Sex, host Jessa Zimmerman welcomes Christine Miles, an expert in the skill of listening, to discuss its significance in intimate relationships and beyond. The conversation delves into the importance of actively cultivating listening skills rather than relying on innate ability. Christine shares her own background and how understanding her mother's underlying pain led her to become an empathetic listener. The episode explores common pitfalls and barriers to effective listening, such as digital distractions and emotional defenses, and offers strategies to overcome them. Christine elaborates on a structured approach to listening, presenting six foundational tools that help engage with the speaker's story comprehensively. She emphasizes the power of understanding in fostering connection and resolving conflicts. The discussion also touches on the importance of empathy and how it naturally follows structured listening. Christine is launching a classroom program aimed at teaching children listening skills, highlighting the broader applicability of these techniques. The episode aims to encourage listeners to integrate these principles into daily interactions to strengthen their relationships.

00:00 Introduction to Better Sex with Jessa Zimmerman

00:47 The Importance of Listening in Relationships

01:30 Christine Miles' Journey to Becoming a Listening Expert

04:11 The Impact of Listening on Relationships

05:33 Common Pitfalls in Listening

11:04 The Role of Empathy and Curiosity in Listening

17:01 Barriers to Effective Listening

20:03 Tools and Strategies for Better Listening

20:17 Mastering the Listening Path

20:34 The Four Stops of a Story

22:31 Facts and Feelings in Storytelling

23:38 The Six Most Powerful Questions

25:53 Reflecting and Summarizing

28:06 The Water Filter Technique

30:18 Listening as a Skill

33:03 Integrating Listening Skills in Daily Life

34:29 Resources and Final Thoughts

Interested in the private podcasts?

Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcast

Secret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcast

Bio:

CHRISTINE MILES is the founder and CEO of EQuipt, an award-winning author, professional keynote speaker, consultant, executive coach, thought leader, entrepreneur, and world-renowned expert in the field of listening differently. With a background in psychology, Christine has spent 25+ years working with individuals and organizations to unlock the power of emotional intelligence to