DBM Ep 79 Black. Single. Motherhood. w/ Jamilah Lemieux

Dear Mamas & Magic Makers

What if I told you the "Black single mother problem" might not actually be about Black mothers? What if everything you thought you knew about Black single motherhood came with a side of patriarchy, poverty, politics, and somebody else's agenda? And what if the "nuclear family" isn't the only family structure worth defending?

Those are the questions we explore with our guest writer, cultural critic, and author Jamilah Lemieux, whose book Black Single Mother: Tales of Longing and Belonging, the book she spent years bringing into the world, takes a sledgehammer to the stereotypes surrounding Black moms. The book is an exploration of Black motherhood, identity, and the stories we inherit about what a "good" family is supposed to look like. And underneath all of it is a bigger question: What becomes possible when Black mothers no longer have to prove that their families are worthy of respect?

Jamilah was our very first guest on the podcast, so this is a full-circle moment for us. And in her return to the podcast, she discusses why she initially rejected the idea of writing about Black single motherhood, what she discovered during her writing process, and what she learned from 21 Black single mothers whose co-parenting experiences ranged from truly equitable arrangements to fathers who were essentially absent.

But this conversation isn't just about dismantling old narratives. It's about imagining something better.

Jamilah talks about Black family structures, matrilineal traditions, Black love, healing between Black men and Black women, and what could happen if Black women's struggles were understood as Black people's struggles rather than problems women are expected to solve alone.

We dive into: ✨The history behind the stereotypes and how ideas about Black families have been repeated, reshaped, and weaponized across generations.

✨The difference between sharing custody and sharing the labor of raising a child 

✨Unlearning "baby mama" shame & the cost of making mamas the villain when children struggle 

✨Media, the meaning of family, and what if Black single mothers stopped treating their families as something they have to explain

PLUS - Stick around till the end for our signature 'Black Mama Say' segment, where we put our own twist on phrases from Black Mamas. This episode, the phrase we're twisting is "At the end of the day."

ABOUT Jamilah Lemieux

Connect with Jamilah Lemieux: Book | Instagram | Threads | Website 

A renowned cultural critic and writer focused on issues of race, gender, and motherhood, Jamilah Lemieux is a leading millennial feminist thinker, social influencer, and game-changing media maverick. Lemieux's written work has been featured EVERYWHERE via a host of print and digital platforms, including the LA Times, Essence, Playboy, the Cut, the Guardian, Colorlines, Wired, Self, Refinery 29, the Columbia Journalism Review, the Nation and Vanity Fair. She penned the foreword for the 2015 anniversary of Michele Wallace's Black Macho and the Myth of the Superwoman and the 2017 re-release of Ann Petry's Miss Muriel and Other Stories. She was also featured in the 2019 anthology How W