EP 287: How to scaffold "accepting no"

Does hearing “no” or “not right now” or “stop doing…” seem to bring your child’s back-off watchdog or shut-down possum out? Or even worse??

Almost every family I’ve ever worked with has had some sort of struggle with their child tolerating frustration, or disappointment, or not getting what they want. 

These kids look ‘spoiled,’ and the judgment from others is REAL. 

But accepting no and tolerating frustration are owl brain skills that can be scaffolded. There’s a pretty lengthy ‘skill stack’ underneath accepting no, and if your child doesn’t have a lot of those skills, then of course they are going to go from 0-60 when they don’t get what they want. 

In this episode you'll learn:

• The skills hiding underneath "accepting no" (regulation, relationship, time, and agency- just to get started with) and why spotting the ones your child is missing changes how you respond
• Why "not right now" feels like "never" to a dysregulated brain, even for a kid who understands perfectly well what later means
• Why holding the no while your child melts down takes a skill stack of your own, including tolerating other people's judgment

The Club is open for new members this week! Come join us for the full accepting-no skill stack and for help working out what all of this looks like in YOUR family. 

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/acceptingno

Register for the F R E E webinar for practitioners and professionals Working with Parents who Aren't On Board  on Tuesday October 27 at 12:30pm or 8pm eastern. 

RobynGobbel.com/FreeWebinar

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Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)