EP 288: How to Stay Regulated...NOT Calm!!!

Sometimes you work so hard to stay ‘calm’ but then realize- it feels totally fake. 

Yeah, that’s because sometimes calm makes no sense!

Sometimes the behavior is serious, and you are mad, and of course you are. 

Regulated doesn’t have to mean calm, and there’s a four-step process that can help you hang onto your owl brain by one sharp talon even while your watchdog is starting to get really active.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• Why working to look calm when you aren’t is hard on your nervous system and confusing for your kid (insides and outsides that don’t match are a cue of danger)
• The four steps for staying regulated while you’re mad or scared: notice, acknowledge without judgment, self-compassion, and getting grounded in the here and now
• The six stages of learning this skill, including the frustrating one where you can see yourself flipping your lid and still can’t stop it, and why that stage is progress

The Club is open for new members through the end of the day today, October 13. Come practice these four steps with us, live, in early November.

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• EP 84: Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior → RobynGobbel.com/changebehavior
• Webinar & eBook: Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/regulatednotcalm

Register for the F R E E webinar for practitioners and professionals Working with Parents who Aren't On Board  on Tuesday October 27 at 12:30pm or 8pm eastern. 

RobynGobbel.com/FreeWebinar

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals! 

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about! 

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

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Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)