North London Nightmares: Arteta's Fear vs Pep's Poise + Spurs Surrender. Which UCL Underdog Could Prevail? (MW #33)

PREMIER LEAGUE: this weekend crystallized Arsenal's great fears. City really feeling themselves. Modest vindication for Arne Slot and Mo Salah (and "Rui" Ngamoha). Relegation battle featuring three clubs and one clownshow. Preview of Sunday's all-important Arsenal at City fixture.

HALFTIME: fascism-related weekly what if postponed to next week... stay tuned

ROUND THE WORLD: Champions League chatter - which club has the best and worst chance of overturning their first leg deficit plus an extra spicy MLS hit-it-n-quit-it minute

STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs