Secure-ish: Rethinking Self-Worth & Attachment with Dr. Marisa G. Franco (312)

What does self-worth really look like when we stop trying to be perfectly secure?

Dr. Ann Kelley talks with psychologist and bestselling author Dr. Marisa G. Franco about her new book, Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment. Dr. Franco challenges the idea that healing means becoming perfectly “secure,” arguing instead for becoming “secure-ish”—learning to acknowledge insecurity, shame, vulnerability, and other difficult emotions without judging or rejecting those parts of ourselves. She explores the difference between self-esteem and true self-worth, why some people struggle to receive love or positive feedback, and how our deeply held stories about ourselves can shape the relationships and experiences we seek out. The conversation also navigates into the science of memory and memory reconsolidation, including how past experiences can continue to influence our emotions and reactions even when we don’t consciously remember them.

“Being a steward of self-worth for self and for others is about allowing people to make mistakes and be imperfect.” – Dr. Marisa G. Franco

Time Stamps for Secure-ish: Rethinking Self-Worth & Attachment with Dr. Marisa G. Franco (312)

01:57 Why friendship matters more than we think 04:01 The problem with attachment styles as status symbols 08:00 Memory as the database of self-perception 13:58 The role of implicit and explicit memory 25:59 The role of body sensations in healing 31:59 Overcoming self-criticism and building resilience 36:07 The Science of Memory and Emotional Triggers 40:02 Addressing detachment and dissociation 47:57 Practical tools for lasting change 49:55 The Future of Self-Worth and Emotional Freedom

About our Guest – Dr. Marisa G. Franco

An enlightening psychologist, international speaker, and New York Times bestselling author, Dr. Marisa G Franco is known for digesting and communicating science in ways that resonate deeply enough with people to change their lives. She works as a professor at The University of Maryland and authored the New York Times bestseller Platonic: How The Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends and Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment. She writes about friendship for Psychology Today and has been a featured connection expert for major publications like