The Donor Mix-Up That Made A Family

Kim and Katie walk us through their ultra-intentional path to queer family building: from meeting online and moving in together lesbian-fast, to getting certified as foster parents just in case, to navigating a heartbreaking late miscarriage after IUI in a clinic, to finding success through home insemination—and thawing donor sperm under a boob.

As we dive deeper, the episode unpacks the layered complexities of queer family building. The couple reflects on the fear and beauty of non-biological parenthood, the nuanced choice between known and anonymous sperm donors, and how a simple donor mix-up led to a deeper understanding of what really makes a family. With humor, heart, and radical honesty, Kim and Katie show us the power of queer intentionality, the importance of early and open conversations with their daughter, and the legal logistics we all have to consider—especially now.

Through all the twists and turns, their story is a beautiful reminder: queer families are built with love, purpose, and a whole lot of intention.

🏳️‍🌈 Thanks to our sponsor California Cryobank!

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🏳️‍🌈 Key Takeaways

• From foster certification to home ICI: A uniquely intentional family-building journey
• The donor mix-up that became a story for the ages
• Navigating miscarriage, grief, and queer resilience
• The non-bio parent perspective and bonding fears
• Choosing an anonymous donor—and rethinking it years later
• Legal protections, second-parent adoption, and estate planning
• Talking to their daughter about donor conception, early and often

📍 Bonus: The sperm vial was thawed under a boob. Yes, really.

🏳️‍🌈 About the Guest(s)🏳️‍🌈

Kim and Katie are a married lesbian couple raising their 7-year-old daughter in a predominantly straight suburb outside of Philadelphia. After facing unexpected hurdles—including a pregnancy loss, a donor switch, and the legal logistics of queer parenting—they’re now parenting with joy, honesty, and visibility. Their story is a testament to the power of love, intention, and community.

🏳️‍🌈 Resources Mentioned

• California Cryobank – Use code: LOVEISLOVE
• Zach’s Safari by Vanessa Brantley-Newton (children’s book about donor conception)

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