What if Discouragement is Just a Feeling, Not an Identity?

Have you ever cringed when your child declared "I'm the worst!" during a challenging homework session? That moment of self-defeating language offers a powerful opportunity for transformation—if you know how to respond.The latest episode of the Summer Skills Series tackles reframing, a deceptively simple tool with profound impacts on how children view themselves during difficult moments. This technique separates feelings from identity, turning global, hopeless statements like "I'm never going to figure this out" into manageable, temporary experiences. When consistently applied, reframing helps children develop resilience and a growth mindset that serves them far beyond academic challenges.What makes this approach so effective is how it acknowledges emotions while creating pathways forward. Rather than dismissing feelings or rushing to fix problems, effective reframing validates the struggle while maintaining agency. "You're feeling discouraged right now" communicates a fundamental truth: people feel feelings, but they are not those feelings. This distinction allows children to work through emotions rather than becoming stuck in them.The episode breaks down exactly how to implement this technique, from managing your own triggered responses to using active listening as your foundation. You'll learn specific language patterns that help children navigate discouragement, concrete examples of effective reframes, and strategies for staying present during challenging interactions. Whether your child struggles with homework frustration, social anxiety, or sports performance, these tools provide a consistent framework for supporting their emotional growth.Ready to transform how your child navigates challenges? Listen now and discover how small shifts in language can create massive shifts in mindset. Share your own reframing successes in the comments—what strategies have worked in your family?

Lindsay Miller is a distinguished kids mindfulness coach, mindfulness educator and host of The Stress Nanny Podcast. She is known for her suitcase tricks and playful laugh. When she's not cheering on her daughter or rollerblading on local trails with her husband, you can find her using her 20+ years of child development study and mindfulness certification to dream up new ways to get kids excited about deep breathing. Having been featured on numerous podcasts, platforms and publications, Lindsay’s words of wisdom are high impact and leave a lasting impression wherever she goes.

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